Holy Snot

and the Divine Boogers

Hi Friends!

I celebrated my birthday this week and I’ve been on a sabbatical for a while, so I’m going to indulge myself in this wordy space with a profound, deep, scriptural, exegetical, Torah-examining, detail-oriented poem. So do what you need to do to prepare yourself for these words because they’re right here:

Holy Snot and The Divine Boogers

Is is a special kind of snot that has both the liquidity
and mass to pass straight through the heart of a tissue.
Despite my attempt at hygienically containing 
my nostril spew, the special goo flows through
and slimes my handshake side fingers… ew.

In that haze of disbelief, enhanced by
the lightheaded effects of exhaling 
hurricane force winds
through my face,
I stare intently at my pointer and thumb,
pressing them together and pulling them apart,
watching the thin silky strands stretching
to keep in contact.

Then I look at the white pile of crumbled,
soggy failure in the palm of my other hand
whimpering and leaking, speaking its last
words, an ancient Hebrew blessing of sorts,
וּבְר֤וּחַ אַפֶּ֙יךָ֙ נֶ֣עֶרְמוּ מַ֔יִם נִצְּב֥וּ
“With the blast of your nostrils
you gathered the waters upright.”

Moses credited the liberation of his people to a divine sneeze, 
which is fun to think about when you eat okra. 

I should probably wash my hands.

In wordy wordiness,

Walter

P.S. — If they came to my town, I would probably buy tickets to see a band called “Holy Snot and The Divine Boogers.”