Fool-maxxing
'cause it's April
Bruh,
This blue doesn’t gleam like this,
shimmer in the sun like this,
flicker in your eye hole/iris like this
without putting in the boy-bird work
that makes the blue fluff work.
Bruh,
Get yourself the Worm.
I’m talking the prime worm
the slime worm,
the get your butt out off bed at 5 am
and sing your morning song
first worm, Worm.
Worm-maxxing.
Get up on that
pristine glory every morning.
Bruh,
If you want this tone when you flex,
it’s all about high protein ratio.
You need to devour some insects.
It’s like 70g protein per 100g cricket.
Protein-maxxing.
Munching those bug noms
means leaving no crumb
in your feather suit.
Bruh,
After you girl dinner the AM worms and crickets
take a dip in that stagnant, dank bird bath
that’s just sitting for the plunking in the middle
of that old lady’s garden.
Dip your face through that mysterious floating scum
and shake around a whole bunch.
Bath-maxxing.
Make those blue boys
shimmer in the sunshine.
Bruh,
Waste management is critical.
Find yourself a solid place to release your solids:
a fence post.
the side mirror of a car.
someone’s front door.
basically anywhere with an overhang
where your drizzle will streak white lines.
Gravity is your friend.
Waste-maxxing.
Everybody needs to know
where you’ve been.
It’s your signature.
Your sign.
Make it count.
Bruh,
Make sure you keep up
that active lifestyle:
move your body,
flap those wings,
but not too much,
no body wants their blue bird all muscly
and gross.
Make sure you maintain a nice cherry colored
belly bump for belting out your sweet tunes.
Voice-maxxing.
And that’s how I do it.
Bruh,
Thanks for reading.
Follow, subscribe, and fight the power.
Loving my bold, blue, body,
Bartholomew the Blue Bird.